Prank Wars
by TheWitch'sDorothy
Summary: It's a guys vs. girls prank war at Shiz University! Who will win this epic battle of wits? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own Wicked or any of its characters. Enjoy!**

Summer was almost upon them and its close proximity didn't go unnoticed among the student body at Shiz. There was a lot of shirking of homework and other such items, much to the annoyance of the professors, as well as plenty of students going down to swim at the canal after class.

This afternoon was one of the best ones yet, the sun shining bright and a warm breeze sending ripples across the clear blue water of the canal. It was here that the Charmed Circle found themselves sitting on a blanket in a secluded spot farther down from where the majority of their classmates were swimming. The occasional splash or shriek of laughter would float down on the wind, causing all of them to turn their heads. However, right now their attention was focused on Crope and Tibbett, who were having a contest to see who could blow the biggest bubble.

Each boy had a golf-ball sized wad of bubblegum in his mouth and was chewing furiously to get the gum soft enough to blow a bubble with. Avaric, Fiyero, and Boq were betting on who would blow the biggest bubble (Fiyero's money was on Tibbett; the other two boys were betting on Crope to win), while the girls merely laughed and cheered the two boys on with the exception of Elphaba, who was sitting under the shade of a nearby tree and reading a rather thick volume on the history of Munchkinland.

"Elphie, come over here!" Galinda called over to the green girl, who didn't look up from her book. The blonde huffed in annoyance. "If you don't, I'll hide your books!" Over the top of the book, Elphaba could be seen rolling her eyes at the other girl's comment. "I mean it!" Elphaba lowered the book before responding.

"What possesses you to think that I have the faintest interest in seeing Crope and Tibbett make fools of themselves? They do that often enough; I doubt missing one such occurrence would harm me unduly," she replied. Galinda stood up and walked purposefully over to her, grabbed her wrist, and despite numerous protests, dragged her over to blanket, the book falling to the grass beneath the tree. Elphaba glared at the Galinda, who merely gave a triumphant smirk and waved back at her.

On the other edge of the blanket, Crope had succeeded in blowing a bubble the size of his head, his face distorted through the spherical pink film. Tibbett's bubble was a bit smaller, much to the dismay of himself, Avaric, and Boq. Fiyero grinned and high-fived Crope, who promptly popped the bubble all over his face Galinda squealed and quickly moved backwards to avoid the bits of gum that splattered everywhere. Fiyero, Boq, and Tibbett howled with laughter as a disgruntled Crope blinked, his brown eyes the only thing visible under the bright mask. Avaric, who was unfortunately sitting next to him, looked annoyed at the patch of pink that had attached itself to his shirt. Nessarose giggled at the antics of her older classmates, covering her mouth with her hands to hide it. Elphaba merely raised her eyebrows and shook her head, picking a pink strand from her sleeve.

"Honestly you two," she muttered as she did. Tibbett skillfully sucked his bubble back into his mouth, replying around the wad.

"What do you have against gum, Elphaba?" He asked, his cheek bulging from the mass of gum in his mouth. She shrugged.

"I have nothing against gum. Although our good friend Boq here does," Elphaba said. The Munchkin flushed the same color as the bubblegum, lowering his gaze.

"Elphie, you said you wouldn't bring that up," he said, looking back up at his friend pleadingly. Now the whole group was watching the two of them.

"What happened with bubblegum?" Milla asked curiously. Elphaba smirked and began to retell the story, obviously enjoying Boq's embarrassment.

"Well, when Boq, Nessa, and I were growing up in Munchkinland, Boq loved to chew gum. At least one piece a day was standard for him. One day though when he was chewing his bubblegum, I accidentally bewitched it to become like glue. Boq's mouth was glued shut for hours, until the doctor could find a way to get his jaw unstuck."

As she finished, Fiyero collapsed onto the grass, laughing hysterically. The sight of the normally reserved prince laughing like he was going to bust a gut sent everyone over the edge as well, and even Elphaba was smirking at the effect her story had had on her classmates. Boq glared at Elphaba, who smirked and shrugged.

"That would be a great prank," Tibbett said thoughtfully, once they had recovered enough to speak. "That gives me an idea…" He trailed off.

"Well, what is it?" Avaric asked impatiently after a few minutes of silence.

"Prank wars!" The boy grinned and looked around at them all. "It could be guys against girls," he said.

"But there are three of us and five of you," Galinda protested. "That's totally unfairified!" The group grew silent once more as they pondered this new dilemma. Elphaba took advantage of the silence to retrieve her book from its resting place underneath the tree.

"Well, Tibbett and I could be the judges. You know, make sure that all pranks are fair and official in terms of the competition," Crope spoke up and Tibbett nodded in agreement.

With everyone satisfied, the two self-appointed team captains, Avaric and Galinda, shook hands. Tibbett clapped his hands and proclaimed:

"Let the first annual Shiz University Prank Wars begin! May the best team win!" Galinda grinned mischievously.

"We intend to." With that, the two teams took off in opposite directions (the boys to Boq's dorm and the girls to Galinda's) to begin their scheming.

**Don't forget to review!**


	2. The Girls Begin Scheming

Chapter 2

Galinda sat on her bed in a flounce of pink skirts and opened a fluffy magenta notebook, pulling out a matching pen. She then looked around at her reluctant teammates expectantly. "Any ideas?" Elphaba merely rolled her eyes and began to read her book once more, while Nessarose peered over her shoulder at the text out of sheer boredom. Galinda grumbled, reached over, and tugged the book out of Elphaba's hands, tossing it unceremoniously to the other side of the room. "Now is not the time for reading, Elphie! Now is the time for action!"

"We could throw their clothes into the canal," Nessarose offered uncertainly, trying to break the tension in the room, as Galinda and Elphaba stared daggers at each other.

"Ooh! Good idea!" Galinda proclaimed, writing furiously in her notebook. Elphaba rolled her eyes once more, much to the blonde's annoyance. "And I supposed you have a better idea?"

"Yes," Elphaba stated matter-of-factly. Nessarose glared at her older sister's contradiction and wheeled herself next to Galinda. "The boys will probably be expecting a juvenile prank of that sort and with you on this team, who could blame them? If you want to win this childish affair, you have to do what's unexpected."

"I still don't see how this is any better than my suggestion," Nessarose piped up. Galinda made a shushing motion at the brunette, focusing intently on Elphaba's words. Nessarose huffed and crossed her arms in annoyance. "No one appreciates my genius."

"Mmhmm. Now what were you saying about the unexpected?" Galinda asked, not noticing Nessarose's outraged expression. The wheelchair-bound girl glared at the blonde before wheeling herself out the door. Galinda watched her go with barely a hint of interest.

"Well, it's just you and me now, Elphie." Elphaba frowned at her oblivious roommate.

"Galinda, don't speak that way about Nessa. She's fragile enough as it is," Elphaba reprimanded her. Galinda shrugged.

"Then she shouldn't act all high and mighty. Now, tell me what you were going to say!" Elphaba sighed and looked Galinda in the eyes.

"Before I do, answer me: why are you even interested in a prank war?" Galinda thought for a few moments before replying.

"Because an exercise such as this is one that is dominated by men. If we as females can prove victorious, it will show that we are just as adept, if not more so, as the male population." She stated triumphantly, clearly excited that she had managed to produce such an Elphaba-like response.

"So you're essentially saying the only reason you're taking part in this is for the feminist values and goals?"

"Yes…?" Elphaba sighed and rubbed her eyes. Why oh why did she have to land the blonde as a roommate? _Hundreds of students in Shiz University, and I get stuck with the girl who thinks prank wars are a form of female empowerment…_

"Alright, what I was saying is that you have to do something that will target their weak point. For example, Avaric's weak point is the entire female population of this university, yours truly excluded," Elphaba said. Galinda smiled and tossed her hair.

"Well, who wouldn't have me as their weakness? I'm popular, funny, and I dress to kill!" Elphaba cleared her throat. _Why? Whatever my faults, I don't deserve this._

"As I was saying, you have to target his weak spot. Make something go while he was flirting, or something similar." Galinda squealed, dropped her notebook, and jumped on the other girl. Elphaba stiffened, not sure about how to react to the sudden contact.

"Oh Elphie, that's the perfect idea!" Galinda gave her roommate a rib-cracking hug. "Thank you so much!"

"No problem, Galinda. But can you, um, please get off of me?"


	3. The First Attack

Boq paced the length of his dorm nervously, running his hands through his wheat-colored hair.

"Guys, we have no ideas. Scratch that, we have no _good_ ideas," he said, stopping to adjust his tie in the mirror. Avaric yawned and spoke up from where he was sprawled out on Boq's bed. So far, the Gillikinese boy had been no help, just sleeping and occasionally telling them an idea.

"I don't know, Boq, I think that releasing spiders in their room would be a good idea." Boq rolled his eyes and turned to Fiyero for help. The prince just shrugged and replied:

"Let's try and figure out their weaknesses." He got out a piece of paper and a pen and divided it into three sections, labeled "Galinda", "Elphaba", and "Nessarose". "Let's start with Galinda."

"Miss Galinda is perfect and doesn't have any-" Avaric cut across him loudly, counting off on his fingers.

"Insects, rodents, reptiles, clothes, shoes, thinking. Need I go on?" Boq grumbled and crossed his arms, his expression and messy hair making him look like an annoyed child.

"Avaric, you're forgetting that both she and Elphaba can do magic," Fiyero interjected. "Those are all good weaknesses, but if they can just wave them away with their wands, we're still nowhere." Avaric yawned again and laced his fingers behind his head as he lied back onto the pillow.

"I already thought of that. Relax boys; I've got this all under control.

"I don't see why you dragged me along!"

"Well, this was your idea!"

"No, I just gave you the idea for it. This train wreck is entirely yours, my sweet," Elphaba hissed back. She was seated at a table in a dark corner of the Peach and Kidneys, watching as Avaric made his way to the bar and sat down. The air smelled of the slightly vanilla scent of cigar smoke mixed with the faintest tang of alcohol, enough to make the emerald-skinned girl's nose wrinkle in disgust. Galinda was sitting next to her, looking utterly ridiculous in a hooded cloak of deep violet. "And just so you know, your 'stealthy evasion techniques' aren't working. Also, I don't like your codenames for us."

It was true; the pair was on the receiving end more stares as a result of the blonde's cloak.

"Well, I enjoy the codenames. Now hush Green Bean!" Elphaba rolled her eyes and silently wondered why she had even agreed to take place in this.

"Well, Galinda-"

"Not Galinda! Beautifully Popular Queen of Pink!"

"Fine, _Beautifully Popular Queen of Pink_, I don't even need why we need codenames! No one here knows us!"

"Hush! You're ruining my concentration!" Galinda whispered, flicking her wand this way and that. Elphaba caught her hand just before she knocked over the large jar of honey that was sitting on the table next to their two cold mugs of tea.

"I thought you said you knew this spell by heart," she said angrily. "Now you're telling me that you interrupted my studying for midterms for nothing?" She threw up her hands in exasperation and turned away.

"This is not for nothing! I know it, it just takes me a little while to remember, that's all. And you're telling me you would pass up a chance to see Avaric get what's coming to him?" The other girl had to admit that Galinda made a fair point with that last remark. Avaric did need to get knocked down a few pegs. "Beautifully Popular Queen of Pink to Green Bean, he just got his drink! Time to execute Operation Get-Avaric!" Galind waved her wand and mumbled the spell, moving her hands frantically in signs that made little sense to Elphaba. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, instead of the contents of Avaric's drink exploding all over him, the jar of honey and the tea drenched the pair. Galinda shrieked and Elphaba let out a yelp of surprise, thankful that there was no water on the table.

But the damage was done. The two were soaked. Galinda's curls were held in place by a thick coating of honey that dripped down off of her hood, which had done nothing to protect her from the blast, and Elphaba was dripping tea. The entire pub had gone silent. Then, Avaric began to laugh, a loud, triumphant laugh, and soon the entire pub was in uproar, laughing along with him.

"Let's go," Elphaba hissed, grabbing Galinda roughly by the wrist and pulling her out the front door. Once they were a safe distance away, she stopped and turned to the miserable blonde. "I thought you said you knew the spell!"

"I do! I don't know what happened!" A tearful Galinda responded. "Oh Elphie, just look at my dress! It's ruined!" Elphaba rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time and was about to respond when Avaric's voice echoed from behind them.

"The problem with your little scheme wasn't Galinda's spell casting, feeble though it is." Avaric walked around them, so that he could see them face to face. He took a small packet on a piece of twine around his neck out, showing it to the two girls. "It was this. As long as I'm wearing this, your little spells can't hurt me. Just give up, because without your stupid magic, you two are nothing." He turned and swaggered off back to the pub, but not before one final taunt. "Run along back to your dorm and leave pranking to the big boys!" Elphaba glared after him and began to pull Galinda, who was trying to run after him, back to the dorm:

"Let me go, Elphie! He's going to pay to have this dress cleaned!"


End file.
